either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
