Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!