with your own penis?
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I got chris browned last night
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.