You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.