just tell him i said nine months
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
