Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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