I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
