woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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