I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
