It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
