why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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