this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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