her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize