I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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