The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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