Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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