I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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