now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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