Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
