have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
