I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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