I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
