i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
