no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I pour the whiskey from now on
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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