"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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