how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
