What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When are your genitals available?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would ride that face into the sunset
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
