I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
