that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Mom said you looked used
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize