don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
