STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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