i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
zippers are such a cool invention
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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