wanna go halves on a baby?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
third nipple confirmed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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