she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
