not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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