I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
