I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
