I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
