you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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