I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
