the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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