Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
sex in a hospital.. check
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
