whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
