I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
