My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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