I want to have your abortion
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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