I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All the doctor said was why
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
