They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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