well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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