Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
