Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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