I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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