idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
