I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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