I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
