He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
