I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
