Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
