Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
