Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
